haters clubfan club:
fan club:
0 members
a club that keeps no count. no points, no tiers, no confetti. you leave an email, you hear things first, and officially none of this ever happened.
fine, i'm inmembership fee: one email address. cancel anytime. we'll pretend not to notice.
haters club
est. against advice
certified hater
member no. 000
valid — never expires
benefits, technically
what you get
01
early access
you hear first. quietly. no countdown, no siren.
02
the members cap
once a year, one cap only members can buy. nobody else will notice. that's the point.
03
restocks
first dibs before anything goes public. too slow is still possible. or lucky.
04
field notes
the journal, in your inbox. rarely. if you want.
05
your birthday
nothing. we promise.
— house rules
the rules
- 01 there is no club.
- 02 members: 0. joining doesn't change that.
- 03 don't post about the club. nobody would care anyway.
- 04 no points. no tiers. everyone is equally disliked.
- 05 resellers get removed from a club that doesn't exist.
- 06 wearing the cap is optional. having opinions isn't.
haters research institute
membership data
0
members, ever
100%
of them heard first
1
email. that's the fee.
source: the list we officially don't keep.
application form, sort of
join the club that keeps no count
one field. no questions about your goals, your journey, or your favorite color.
is this a loyalty program?
no. loyalty is a strong word. it's a list. you're on it, or you're not.
what does membership cost?
an email address. that's the whole economy.
why is the member count always 0?
we don't count. counting leads to leaderboards, leaderboards lead to tiers, tiers lead to "platinum status". nobody needs that.
can i leave?
unsubscribe anytime. we'll pretend not to notice. the count stays at 0 either way.